Friday, November 9, 2012

Hunger Strike

If you knew how much Temple of Dog's early 90's hit Hunger Strike goes through my head, you'd probably lock me up in a flannel straight-jacket. I'm going aa-hunggggggry. Constant loop. And I have none other than my son to thank for it. Gabe has pretty much declared a hunger strike. Remember how he pulled a "toddler" and refused anything the least bit healthy and focused his attentions on chicken mcnuggets (y'all) and hot dogs (turkey dogs but you didn't hear it from me)? Remember how he doesn't drink milk and we have to pump him full of yogurt smoothies and cheese? Well I suppose when you focus so intently on just a handful of delicacies, at some point they're going to get old.

That point is now.

Now I can't pinpoint when exactly this eschewing of all my food options started but let's go with Halloween. In trying to prepare him for the night's events, I'm pretty sure I threw around words like candy and treats. And yeah, for a day or two after Halloween, I let him have a few packs of Smarties and gummies. But homeboy seems to think that this is the new thing."F yeah! This candy thing is my jam! Let's eat this all the time!"

I'm lying. He's really into cereal too. Cereal and candy. When did my kid turn into Buddy the Elf?

Oy. Both John and I are almost, almost, at our wit's end. We've tried every method of child-trickery there is...reverse psychology, bribery, guilt. Nothing. Or in Gabe's awesome new-found words "No, Nothin!" This is the response we get to everything. We give choices between two foods, No Nothin! We try to remind him of his love for apple sauce...ummm, no nothin!.We try to make food look cute. I mean, who doesn't want an octo-dog? Gabe doesn't. We make ridiculous pleasure-filled noises when eating our own food to try to entice him to join in...oh hell no. He is not falling for it. And dude, I know he's a toddler and that this will change. I know this for a fact. In no time at all, I'll be staring at an empty fridge when my teenager has all but cleared me out. But it doesn't make it any frustrating now, ya know? So you got any ideas? Am I missing some parenting trick? Or is it too late, did John and I bring this on ourselves, when at 10 months, after feeding Gabe bits of lamb, did we look at each other a little too smug and laugh at other parents and their unsophisticated babies?

Probably the last one. Assholes.


DecorandtheDog said...

Gabe and I should hang out because I only eat candy and cereal too. Ask Kim.

My nephew and nieces are 4,3, and 2. None of them eat. I take that back. All they eat is blueberries. And candy.

Katie said...

That sucks pup. Nora hasn't reached that age yet so I can't offer any help or insight. The only thing I've ever heard or read is that toddlers need significantly less nutrients than they did as a fat little babe, so parents shoudln't worry when they don't eat for what seems like days. They will eat when they're hungry. That's probably easier said than done though. We are in NoseFrieda-hate zone currently. It makes for fun times.

LizzieBeth said...

Damn you for getting that song in my head. Damn. YOUUU.

All Hunter will eat is bananas and graham crackers. He knows exactly where each are kept in the kitchen, points and when he doesn't get it, erupts into a tantrum. It's.. awesome. So if you figure out what the secret is to get him to eat something else, could you pass it along to me? KThanx.

PS... Gabbers is like a mini John in that picture. Good lord.


Meghan said...

Dude, I live in Seattle. That Temple of the Dog song is on the radio at least once a day. It's like, mandatory.
As for the problems getting little man to eat? Sorry, can't help you. I'm trying to convince my own toddler terror that he can't just have "treats" all the time. Luckily he hasn't give up everything yet, but it's still frustrating to rush home from work and try and make some crappy scrambled eggs for him (Which he said he wanted!) only to have him eat three bites of toast then wail about getting out of his chair. Sorry kid, can't hear you over the baby wailing about wanting to feed himself.
Kids suck.

Diana said...

"When did my kid turn into Buddy the Elf?"

Best Line Ever! LOL!

Michele @ Moonfield Lane said...

My four year old actually falls for "Let's have a broccoli race!" This doesn't work with everything, though. I've heard that you have to offer something 8-10 times before they'll eat it but he pitches a huge fit if something he thinks he hates is even on his plate. I hate all of those tips in the parenting magazines that make something totally gross into something "fun" that I wouldn't even want to eat. Kids are way smarter than we think.

Emily said...

You know what got me through that stage? Telling myself over an over and over again that it's just a stage. And it will go away and come back again, but it's just a stage. That, and alcohol (for me, not T, obvs),

Sarah B said...

You must be "mean". It's all that worked for my brat,i mean lovely child. Meals were served at the same place every meal time and that's all he got. If he didn't choose to eat, then he went without. If he complained later that he was hungry, i brought back out the food offered at the previous meal (i did not insist he eat all of one meal before he got another, but if he refused lunch and it wasn't dinner yet, lunch got offered again). It didn't take long for him to figure out he wasn't calling the shots any more. Also, if he truly didn't like what i made, i didn't force him to eat it. Good luck!!

Amy said...

My little one usually geeks out for meals if they don't include massive amounts of cheese. Tonight, I had her help me make dinner and watch as it was cooking. I guess I really got her excited for eating it, because she ate it all and asked for more. I think I'll make her cook dinner more often. Might be worth a shot for your little guy? :) Good luck!

Isrut said...

my cousin's wife Kristen is a nutritionist at CHOP. She runs this website. She's on twitter and facebook too.

Kim @ NewlyWoodwards said...

This is serious. Because as Michelle told you, she only eats cereal and candy. So the very worst scenario? He turns out like Michelle. Lord help us.

Hope he starts eating lamb again way soon. It seems like parenting is really a Major lesson in humility. Because I also got unite smug about my child's sleeping early. And then he went on a sleeping strike.

*claire* said...

that first picture??? a john lookalike! i've always thought that - but that pic's a dead ringer!

also - please tell us what ends up working so i can reference this in a year or so :)

also - lol'ing at the buddy the elf comment. (ok, i didn't actually laugh aloud - but smirked - same difference)

Kelly @ turned UP to ELEVEN! said...

The minute I read the title.. my brain said... "I'm going hungryyyyyyyyy" Totally love that song and love that it makes you think of this song when Gabe is all "no way lady, I'm not eating!"


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