If you knew how much Temple of Dog's early 90's hit Hunger Strike goes through my head, you'd probably lock me up in a flannel straight-jacket. I'm going aa-hunggggggry. Constant loop. And I have none other than my son to thank for it. Gabe has pretty much declared a hunger strike. Remember how he pulled a "toddler" and refused anything the least bit healthy and focused his attentions on chicken mcnuggets (y'all) and hot dogs (turkey dogs but you didn't hear it from me)? Remember how he doesn't drink milk and we have to pump him full of yogurt smoothies and cheese? Well I suppose when you focus so intently on just a handful of delicacies, at some point they're going to get old.
That point is now.
Now I can't pinpoint when exactly this eschewing of all my food options started but let's go with Halloween. In trying to prepare him for the night's events, I'm pretty sure I threw around words like candy and treats. And yeah, for a day or two after Halloween, I let him have a few packs of Smarties and gummies. But homeboy seems to think that this is the new thing."F yeah! This candy thing is my jam! Let's eat this all the time!"
I'm lying. He's really into cereal too. Cereal and candy. When did my kid turn into Buddy the Elf?
Oy. Both John and I are almost, almost, at our wit's end. We've tried every method of child-trickery there is...reverse psychology, bribery, guilt. Nothing. Or in Gabe's awesome new-found words "No, Nothin!" This is the response we get to everything. We give choices between two foods, No Nothin! We try to remind him of his love for apple sauce...ummm, no nothin!.We try to make food look cute. I mean, who doesn't want an octo-dog? Gabe doesn't. We make ridiculous pleasure-filled noises when eating our own food to try to entice him to join in...oh hell no. He is not falling for it. And dude, I know he's a toddler and that this will change. I know this for a fact. In no time at all, I'll be staring at an empty fridge when my teenager has all but cleared me out. But it doesn't make it any frustrating now, ya know? So you got any ideas? Am I missing some parenting trick? Or is it too late, did John and I bring this on ourselves, when at 10 months, after feeding Gabe bits of lamb, did we look at each other a little too smug and laugh at other parents and their unsophisticated babies?
Probably the last one. Assholes.