I was gonna do a Flashback Friday sort of post today, but I started looking back on old pics of Gabe and it made me sad/wistful. If you look at him right now, he's a full fledged little boy. And you know what comes with little boys? Embarrassing talk.
Like today, we're at the mall with my sister-in-law and her boys for a sing-a-long group and the boys, of course, aren't paying attention. They're playing by the fountain while all of a sudden, I hear them teaching him the word poopy. Everything is poopy and it, apparently to them, is the g-damn funniest thing you ever heard. Gabe has no idea what he's saying but oh man, it's cracking his shit up. Running in front of the 40 other children and their judgey (assumingly) moms, yelling poopy! Like, we can't even keep our kids sitting still for the corny husband-wife duo like all of the other zombie children, but we've got to yell about feces as well. Proud mom moment right there. Riiiight.
Anyway, so we're at Old Navy the other day, wandering the men's section, when Gabe starts proclaiming "b 0 0 b s!" Cue red-faced Shannon. I start doing the whole pat his head move, asking what are you saying, while my eyes scan to see who's around and who heard and steering our cart out of that section. Of course, it's like 3 dudes who are all smiling but not making eye contact. So Gabe keeps yelling it. Jeez kid, where did you even hear this word? I'm racking my brain trying to think of who he was around that would have used it. (I know John is the obvious answer here but I think even he has enough sense to use euphemisms).
So out of the corner of my eye, I see something. I see a huge bunch of balloons. Or, as Gabe would say, BOONS! That's what he was saying. Of course.
"YES GABRIEL, THOSE ARE BALLOONS YOU SEE! THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE SAYING...BALLOONS", I proclaim to everyone in hearing distance. What I hoped they heard was "My child is not a tiny perv everyone! Nothing to see here!"
So yeah, I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, in terms of embarrassing shit my kid says.
It's a good thing he's so darn cute.
Thanks for all of your book recs yesterday!
Oh and I mentioned on my blog Facebook page yesterday that I'm going to really try to respond to all your comments in the comment section from now on so feel free to check back! Have a good weekend!
15 comments:
Wait, so I'm not supposed to teach my kid the word "poopie?" Because that's what I've been doing. Seriously. My thinking was that he will communicate with me when it's time to potty train. Maybe I should have read my book more closely...... I feel I've set myself up for more public embarrassment, as if that was even possible.
@Kate Well um, I actually haven't started reading the potty training book so I'm no authority on the subject. In our house, we use "the poops", as in "you got the poops?" which I'm sure isn't the recommended vernacular.
Lol, I need the potty training book! Which one does everyone recommend? My little person has started to lie to me about the subject. Anytime I mention poop she responds with "NOPE!" even when its obvious thats whats going on... Shannon, too bad Corinne wasn't there, she's usually the only one not sitting at attention...
lol! I have four boys. You'll learn to tune it out. I've found if I don't react then it's not as fun for them to say it. :) In our house potty talk is reserved for the bathroom. My boys have spent hours in time out on the toilet. ha!
My father, "Mr. Cursi" taught us all to curse as soon as we could talk.
I remember him teaching my little sister to say that this spot on the kitchen ceiling was a "piece of shit" and then cracking up whenever she said it.
Because my kid is still in utero, I say, embrace it.
Ah, don't sweat it. ;) he's a little boy, soon the idea of poop and farts will be the most awesome thing ever. It's a rite of passage, I think. My little guy is 2 & 1/2 and loves to tell me that things smell like poop or like farts. I take him to a weekly tumbling class and one of the warm up activities is to "plant" flowers in your toes and then lean down to smell, then the instructor asks what your flowers smell like... I was fully prepared for Ben to announce his smelled like poop/farts. ;)
@Christine Kids are awesome liars. You can't tell they're pooping from the red-faced, grunting, squatting position either. I grabbed The Everything Potty Training Book from the thrift store, I'm sure they have a ton!
@FarmhouseMama That seems like a good rule to follow. I guess at some point it will stop being cute and funny like it is now.
@Isrut Bahahaha love this. I love parents with a sense of humor. See, you turned out alright, how bad can teaching your kid to curse can it be??
@SarahB Oh I don't mind, I do think it's pretty hilarious and have to learn to stifle my laughing, if just in front of others so they don't think I'm a degenerate ;) But I know at some point it won't be as adorable as it is now.
Right there with you on the potty talk and I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who can't help but laugh at home. After being a teacher and keeping a straight face to all sorts of random comments I thought I would be much better with my own. So not the case.
I haven't had too many of these moments yet (Though Q did once try and peek under a bathroom stall door to say hello to the neighbor). However, he's taken to saying 'Oh Shit' which is... fun? (it sounds like Oh Shik! but that 'k' isn't fooling anyone) This one is being pinned on the grandparents. Mostly because he's more likely to pick up other choice (read: waaay worse) words and phrases from his dad and me.
He is so cute! I love that you called them zombie children! My working theory is that kids that sit still and never misbehave are not as brilliant as my bright and energetic kids! I just keep telling myself that!!!
My kids made up a song this morning called, "everyone has boobs," and they weren't talking about balloons!
@Alison Oh man, you're due for some cracking up out in the open!
@Meghan Hahaha if kids weren't supposed to curse, why are curse words so easy to say?? And why do they rhyme with other words they know? It's not our fault, it's society's fault. Also, how Gabe is not calling people assholes by now, I have no idea!
@Melissa Yes yes yes, you are correct. Those zombies have no interest in the world around them so they don't move. And they clearly aren't creative like our little wonder children ;)
I'd like to hear that song...
This is hilarious. Especially the part where you tried to convince everyone around you he wasn't a perv. Ha.
When, hypothetically, should parents stop drops the f bomb around their 10-week old? I'm asking for a friend.
I admit it! I taught Gabe to say "Boobs". But I told him he could only proclaim it when balloons were within sight, knowing that you would assume he was referring to them, instead of sweater pillows! Just thought you should know.
Omg...I literally laughed so hard just now, I was crying!! Literally, tears were coming out of my eyes! That was the BEST post for a Friday!
@Kim Tell your "friend", you've, I mean they've got another year AT LEAST. Let the f bombs fly!
@BIPP Using the term sweater pillows is no longer allowed on my blog. Rules are rules. Also, I'm sorry I didn't respond in a timely manner.
@Shannon Thank you, your comment made my weekend :)
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