MossyPants

I've got, what you might call, a thing for moss. See moss obsession evidence here and here. But I need me some moss on a bigger scale. A little something like this perhaps...

 

Source: images.search.yahoo.com via Gina on Pinterest

Source: purestylehome.blogspot.com via Laurie on Pinterest

Source: sundayinbed.tumblr.com via Janet on Pinterest

Fairy cottage/evil witch lair also needed. But back to the moss. I've been trying to figure out a way to disguise my hideous front porch. Like it's disgusting. I hate it. It could start a whole "Things I'm Afraid to Show You" viral internet sensation. It's dark, it's discolored, it's always piled with leaves and things that fall from the 15 trees right above it. See?

Yeah. To quote 15 year old Shannon " It's nast". But one day as I walked up and down those stairs 27 times in a row with Gabe, I realized that it had some good features. 

It's dark, it's dank and it's the ideal environment to grow moss. You can see, it's already there. My mind wandered to a post I had seen on Apartment Therapy about moss garden graffiti, which is in iteself, pretty effing cool. So I headed to the artist's website to get the instructions on how to do it. But I wasn't interested in putting pretty designs on my house. My mission was to cover the entire porch base, as well as the step risers with moss. I wanted all that gray covered up. I figured the discolored cement would blend better with the moss and not be such an eyesore. So right after it rained one day last week, I got my supplies gathered:

Can of crap beer, 1/2 tsp sugar and a couple handfuls of live moss, cleaned of dirt and debris.Like I said, I'm lucky to have the moss growing on my property so I just dug it up with a wallpaper scraper. Then I plopped the moss, sugar and the beer in my blender. It smelled nast.

Blend that shit up. The directions say to blend until it becomes smooth and creamy.

I dunno. It was smooth but it sure wasn't creamy. What part of it should have made it creamy, is what I want to know? But I proceeded anyway. I started in this corner since it's already got some growth of something on it.

I grabbed the nearest paint brush and just painted the mixture on.

 The directions say to return every so often over the next few weeks to spritz with water to encourage growth.

So this is what it looked like when I was done spritzing for the first time. The next few days were hot, muggy and stormy, so I either got lucky with more ideal weather or the rain washed all my beer away. We shall see. Hopefully within a few weeks, I'm living in my very own fairy garden. And smelling like Miller Lite.

the saga continues

btw, I apologize for amateur hour over here yesterday when my blog posted like 5 short, random posts. I was playing around on Polyvore and it posted everything I did without me knowing it! The horror!