Back in the Fire

You know how when you’re pregnant, people always tell you to sleep as much as possible before the baby arrives? I’ve even caught myself saying that to friends, even though I cringe as the words come out of my mouth. We all know there’s no such thing as storing up on sleep and relaxation before your world is upended by your first born spawn.  So it sounds kind of dumb to suggest that someone do that. But I suppose, in my defense, it’s one of the least offensive things you could blurt out to an expecting mother, right? Anyway, even though we all know you can’t stockpile zzzzz’s, I think we all have some hope that it will actually work when we get a few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep after burning the candle at both ends for awhile.

So when I learned that John would be taking me away this past weekend, it was my saving grace many a long day leading up to it. Well that and booze. But the thought of maybe, just maybe, getting away & catching a midday nap was enough to make me plaster that smile on my face when Gabe just had to have my attention every day while trying to make dinner. So this weekend came and went. I slept decently and even got a nap in one day. But there was no sleep to be saved up and brought home. I got home and was back on duty right away. And of course, Gabe has been battling a cold/allergy combination which has caused crankiness, sleeplessness and general meh-ness. Meh-ness is totally a word, go with it. So even if there was an ounce of patience/restfulness/energy that I tucked away this weekend, it was used up right away.

I’ve just been exhausted lately in a way that reminds me of the early days. Except these days, most nights I’m getting a full 7 or 8 hours, unlike being up several times a night nursing. It’s the daytime that is draining me. Gabe is on from 6:45 am to 7:45 pm, with a too short nap somewhere in between. He wants to be outside but not just content in our driveaway. No, he wants to roam the neighborhood. And we don’t have the most child-friendly neighborhood, seeing as how we have no sidewalks and people will speed through our area as a back-road to avoid the main drag. I have to be on full alert for this kid who just wants to take off. And preferably find the largest mud puddle possible to stomp his new sneakers in. It’s hard work and I’m just tired. So even though John was probably counting on my weekend away to lessen my exhaustion at 8pm &  lessen the “I’m just going to bed’s”, it probably won’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t awesome and totally appreciated, it’s just that it won’t save me from future fatigue. A week in the Caribbean might to the trick though, babe.

Yet somehow, I’m finding myself letting the thoughts of a possible Gabe 2.0 float around the house. John and I have even been talking names because I realized that it took me years to get him on board with Gabe and Avery. So if I need to get what I want, I better start the mind manipulation now, eh? So while this motherhood thing is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, I think I’m pretty good at it. Maybe I can handle another one? Maybe.  Please let me reiterate that this is in no way a baby announcement. I’d be a hell of a lot more creative than that.

I hope all you moms out there, of inside and outside babies, have a stellar Mother’s day and that all your babies and baby daddies spoil the crap out of you. Trips to the Caribbean for everybody!!!