Lucky Me

 

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I spent much of the past weekend in a constant state of blissful gratitude. Now you guys know me, I'm not one to wax poetic about the beauty of the world around me and being thankful for everything on earth and all that hooey. In fact, I mostly roll my eyes at that sort of thing.  But after the weekend I had, I realized how much I do have and man, I'm a lucky girl. I just kept running head-on into things that any girl would be thanking the stars for, ya know? So I did. Instead insert God for stars. On Friday night, I headed into town to meet up with my best girls for dinner. To have money to eat out at a fancy joint and drink fancy drinks, to have the funniest effing friends that make me laugh til my side hurts, to have a husband that asks no questions about how much I'm spending or what time I'm coming home. All good things.

That night turned into a late one and when I finally crawled into bed in the wee hours of the morn, I was dreading the next morning. I even considered leaving John a note, begging him for a late wake-up. But I didn't need to. A late wake-up call happened to the tune of a crumbly McDonald's bag and the cure for all that ailed me. This, my friends, is why I married him. We spent our Saturday at Lowes and playing outside and making lists of house to-do's. Because even if we don't have the money to do everything that needs to be done right now, we have an amazing house that not only gives us shelter, it looks cute doing it. Bonus. We've got a nice big yard for our healthy little son to run around in.  See? All these amazing things I've got going for me...it's pretty awesome.

It's weekends like this that I need to re-live on the days when my back pain is relentless and I'm feeling like a less than stellar wife for not cooking dinner.  When I'm calling myself a shitty mom for keeping the tv on all day to entertain Gabe. When I'm feeling the tug of the pursestrings when something unexpected comes up. When it's so easy to get down in the dumps for any number of reasons. I've got a charmed life and I just need to remember it.

Funny enough (not funny at all really),  I wrote this the other day when I was riding high on the gratitude train in the sky. I was all set to publish it when that stupid effing back pain came back. And when that happens, I was like, meh, I don't feel like dealing with the blog. I don't feel like dealing with much. When I'm not stretched out on the couch in the one position that doesn't send shooting pains down my back, I hobble around the house, with an uncanny resemblance to the hunchback of Notre Dame, silently willing Gabe to be perfectly content with the lack of activity. It blows. I've been to the doctor, been put on medicine but the pain comes back. I'm actually going for an MRI today, praying that they find something in which to attribute this pain. So yeah, it's gonna take some extra oomph today to remember how good I have it. And some valium. Which I had prescribed to take before my MRI so I'm not thrashing about because of claustrophobia. Maybe I should have gotten extras. Mother's Little Helper indeed.