Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Guest Post: Despicable Three

The last of my buddies to guest blog over here is my pal Mandy. Mandy is the mom to adorbs twin boys who shares my love for all things craftastic.

Hello to all of Shannon's lovely and I'm sure highly interesting readers! I'm Mandy and I blog over at This Girl's Life. And I really dig Shannon. I don't see how you could read her blog and not dig her, really. She's pretty darn hilarious. And she's letting me guest blog today while she is on a road trip that, coincidentally, took her right past my hood. At 5 am. If Hobby Lobby was open 24 hours we could have had an awesome blogger GTG.

She told me to share one of my parenting stories so she could hear about "all the weird boy shit I have to look forward to in the coming years." So here ya go girl!


As a little background, a few months ago my twin boys turned three. And we had a Despicable Three themed birthday shindig for them. {If you haven't seen Despicable Me...even if you don't have kids...add it to your Netflix cue. It is hilarious!}.

I thought I was so clever with my play on words. Despicable Three instead of Despicable Me. Get it? I know...I'm a genius.

In my moment of genius I may have also jinxed myself as well. See, the two's really weren't that terrible. They were pretty terrific actually. But the three's so far have shown us quite a few despicable moments. Don't get me wrong, we have really great boys. For the most part they are well behaved and listen to what we tell them. But they do like to throw in a tantrum or random act of craziness every once in awhile just to keep us on our toes.

And this past Saturday included a few of them.

It all started out innocently enough with hair cuts. I don't know why I just used the word innocently. Up until the last time they got hair cuts, the process involved massive amounts of crying, screaming and thrashing around. And sometimes I joined in. You would think we were cutting off their ears. Or something worse. But the last time we took them to the salon they were both SO good. No tears, no screams. Perfection. And they both got a sucker to celebrate.

So I thought we were on easy street. And they must have been able to sense it. Well, Landon anyway.

We show up to the salon, and I had scheduled for them to go at the same time with two different stylists. Just in case things get ugly we can get out of there as quickly as possible. Dan took Ben and I had Landon.

Let's just say the minute I got Landon to the chair the thrashing began. Knees locked, arms flailing...he made it impossible to get him perched on top of the booster seat. I tried for what felt like 5 minutes but it was probably more like 30 seconds. I could feel my face getting hot and let's just say the t-shirt I had on was probably giving all the ladies in the salon a show with the contortions I was doing trying to hold him down.

Of course the salon was packed. Of course.

So I did what any reasonably sane mom would do. I handed him off to my hubby and took the good boy.

I thought for sure he would straighten up for his dad. Not so much. He ended up in his lap and screamed the.entire.time. And the poor woman couldn't even give him a decent hair cut because of all of the thrashing. Seriously. I think his head spun around a few times.

I ended up tipping the lady because I felt so bad. {I don't usually tip...don't judge. We're broke and I'm cheap.}

$12.50 for a crappy hair cut and a pissed off three year old who didn't get his sucker. Fun times.

Right here is where I would have had pictures of the boys with their spiffy new 'do's, but I was so ticked off and embarrassed that I forgot to pull out my phone. And it takes a lot for me to forget to take pictures.

If you are still with me, are you ready for part II?

So then we get home. Landon has calmed down. I'm giving his crooked hair cut the side eye. We fix them lunch and get them settled. We make our lunch.

And then we look at each other and realize it is really quiet. Any parent knows that quiet + two toddlers can equal very scary things.

So the hubby goes to check on them and his response was not good. By the tone and sheer loudness of his response I knew something unfavorable has taken place. They had taken their drinks {flavored water} and dumped them all over their new Cars walkie talkies. Everything within about a two foot radius around their pint sized picnic table was splattered with Clearly Canadian {Do they still make CC? Ours is the Walmart brand...remember...we're cheap}.

Cue the thrashing and head spinning. From all four of us. The boys because we took away their walkie talkies. And us because...well...I don't think I have to explain that one.

Talk about despicable.

Turns out they were trying to change the color of the cars, because earlier that day we had played with one of their color changers in a cup of water. So, not quite as despicable as we had first suspected. But still messy little stinkers. 

Messy little stinkers on a good day.

And that, my friends, is a day in the life of a house with twin three year olds.

Hope you can join me over at This Girl's Life to hear more about my boys and my crafty adventures, and thanks to Shannon for having me!

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