At 3 months old, I attempted to move Gabe from his bassinet in our room to the crib in his room. It worked for a few days. However, I had to nurse him to sleep, wait for him to be in a deep sleep then try to move him to the crib and place him in it without moving any muscles in my upper body, for fear of waking him. If he woke up, the whole process would need to be repeated and it sucked. This process also took about an hour. An hour that I used to spend watching HIMYM. Somewhere along the line, he decided to wake up as soon as he hit the crib mattress. And cry like a banshee. He'd do this whole routine multiple times a night. And even though I don't work anymore, I still enjoy functioning as a human. Being awake all night does not a functioning human make. It was killing me. I couldn't shut my brain off as soon as he napped during the day to "sleep when he sleeps". BTW, no mom wants to hear this advice...none! Long story short, I was exhausted. And cranky.
Anyway, in order to get some sleep, I started doing what I always thought I'd never do...co-sleep. I never had anything against it really, I just never thought I'd feel the urge to do it. But soon enough, I was bringing him into bed with me and boom, we were both sleeping like ummm...babies. He could nurse on demand and I could dream about vacationing alone and long showers and buckets of ice cold beers on back porches. Of course, for the first week or so, I was terrified of him getting rolled over on or somehow scooted under the pillow. But he didn't. He stayed where he was and the 3 of us managed to get comfy. In the back of my mind though, I knew I didn't want this to continue. I didn't want to have a 5 year old sleeping with me. I wanted my bed back. I wanted to be able to stretch out. More importantly, I wanted him to get used to his own bed and sleep there. So I kicked him outta bed.
Sleep training seemed to be the only way to go. I didn't do a ton of research and couldn't tell you one method versus another. I just had a basic idea of the Ferber method so that was the direction we were heading though. I'm sure you've heard of "crying it out"...sounds cruel but when you think about it, the baby needs to learn how to fall asleep in the proper place and if he wakes up, to know where he is and soothe himself back to sleep. He's had his mama at his beck and call for over 5 months and now we need to change that up a bit. Now, I don't condone letting the baby cry it out for an hour or anything like that or listening to his choke on his tears or get sick, that's just mean. Sure, Gabe gets all red-faced and sweaty and he's definitely not a happy camper during this process but I'm keeping an eye on him and reassuring him every few minutes that I'm still here and that everything is okay.
I started by feeding him, then burping him and putting him in his crib. Even if he was falling asleep while nursing, the burp and movement immediately wake him. I put him in the crib and he immediately flips over and gets on his hands and knees. I rub his back and let him grab my hand and ssshhhh him and tell him I love him. Then I have to walk out of the room. It's heartbreaking to hear his cries but I know I have to do it. So I leave and wait. He wails so a few minutes later, I go back in. He actually reaches his one arm up for me. Stab me in the eyes please because I can't take this! But I do somehow, repeat the process and leave. I'm prepared to do this for as long as it takes. Our first night, he's asleep in under 35 minutes. Amazing.
We're used to him waking one or two more times during the night and I usually nurse him back to sleep, half-asleep myself. I realize that if and when he wakes up in the middle of the night, we're gonna have to let him cry it out then too...which is the worst. Everything is always magnified at 2am. So we go to sleep and I hear him fussing around 2am, I plan to wait 5 minutes then send John in. But he settles and we all go back to sleep. Same thing happens around 4:30am. We wake up to him making noise around 7:30. We all but threw him a ticker tape parade. We're so proud of you!, we yelled in his tiny face. And we were. It was so much better than we expected.
The next night came around and once again, I prepared for the worst. It couldn't be this easy, right? Same thing, he cried for about 20 minutes while I went in and comforted him every so often, then he started sputtering out, which is actually a pretty funny noise. It's like he has no energy to cry but still wants to make sure we hear him. He was out cold in about 40 minutes total. We couldn't believe this was happening. Well guess what? That boy slept the entire night. He woke us up again around 7:30, happy as a clam. This time we did throw him a parade. He could have gotten a puppy or a pony or anything he wanted, if he was able to tell us what he wanted.
The third night, he went down quick and was asleep within 7 minutes. He woke at 4:15 and cried out. After 5 minutes, John went in and tried to comfort him. Well baby was clearly not happy. He cried for about an hour, with John going in every 5 minutes then every 10 minutes. This was what we had expected from the beginning, so it didn't really bother us. He went back to sleep and woke up at 7:30 as usual.
The fourth night, he went down easy, asleep within 10 minutes and slept through the night again. Could it be this was actually working? We actually sat there wondering why we hadn't started this sooner. Again, every babe is different and he could be singing a different tune at any time and make me eat my words. But until then, I'm celebrating. And I'd like to thank Jennifer from A Jenerek Life for posting her sleeptraining experience. Her compassionate but consistent method motivated us to just do it. And we couldn't be happier. But ya know what, a little piece of me realizes that he's just getting bigger and I don't get to snuggle in bed with him and have his sweet little head fall asleep on me every night. And I know naptime is the next step. Wah Wah. A sleeping baby on your lap is pretty much the cutest, heart-warmiest thing ever. Awww, sap sap sap. Ok, I'm pretty sure no one is reading this by now. I'm out.
The fourth night, he went down easy, asleep within 10 minutes and slept through the night again. Could it be this was actually working? We actually sat there wondering why we hadn't started this sooner. Again, every babe is different and he could be singing a different tune at any time and make me eat my words. But until then, I'm celebrating. And I'd like to thank Jennifer from A Jenerek Life for posting her sleeptraining experience. Her compassionate but consistent method motivated us to just do it. And we couldn't be happier. But ya know what, a little piece of me realizes that he's just getting bigger and I don't get to snuggle in bed with him and have his sweet little head fall asleep on me every night. And I know naptime is the next step. Wah Wah. A sleeping baby on your lap is pretty much the cutest, heart-warmiest thing ever. Awww, sap sap sap. Ok, I'm pretty sure no one is reading this by now. I'm out.
20 comments:
Thanks for posting this. Nate's turning 6 months next week and we tried sleep training him last week and I caved. After an hour of crying I couldn't take it anymore - even though we went in every few minutes to reassure him, he would just yell louder and louder everytime as if saying "WtF". I know - I'm weak! The worst is, he's teething so extremely fussy at night and him sleeping in his bassinet in our room has turned into him sleeping in our bed with me - something I too said I would never do. I'm going to have to give it a go again, but because we've already failed, I'm afraid he's going to think he won the last time so this time around it'll be no different. I applaud you for sticking to it!
I was a strict sleep mom from the beginning - you fall asleep in your crib on your own and I don't want to hear how you feel about it, Mr. Thomas. As a result, we didn't have trouble getting him to sleep, and when he'd wake in the middle of the night I'd feed him, put him back in his crib and he'd go to sleep immediately, so I thought we were doing well. BUT - he became a trained night eater. He was sleeping through the night right before his surgery, but after that he was waking up. One night of hell - crying for an hour, reassuring at 5 minutes, then adding ten minutes to every check-in - and our little man has been sleeping through the night since 6 months. I love Ferber. I love sleep training!
PS - in my sleep training research, I came across the book Baby 411. I knew I'd use their method when the woman's advice for surviving the terrible twos was a glass of wine everynight for the mom. Now that's my kind of pediatrician.
I did pretty much the same thing, I NEED sleep to be a decent human and that is what had to be done.
yah for sleep
at first I thought.. "how could she get him so used to sleeping with her, he'll never leave the bed" and then i read the part where you said you didn't want a 5 year old in your bed and I said "how could I think she would ever do that" haha Great job and im happy he's sleeping so well!!! He's the cutest baby ever! Love his facial expressions :O)
oh dear, the sleep struggles. so happy you found a system that seems to be working--and at 3 months already! he is seriously the cutest thing ever, btw.
we struggled with this a lot. it's so heartbreaking to hear them cry, but you need your sanity and schedule too.
i think you're doing an amazing job!
Dang, that kid is a sleep training super star. I still miss being with my little guy at night. As a matter of fact I sleep nursed last week. He woke around 2am, and for whatever reason I went in his room and nursed him like old times. When I woke the next morning I realized what I had done. But, I couldn't get mad a myself, because I vaguely remember loving every second of that late night snuggle.
Also, remember that if he doesn't nap well during the day and he looks tired go ahead and put him to bed early. Even if it's and hour or two early. We do that with Gray, and he still wakes around the same time in the morning. Keep up the amazing work.
I can't believe our little dudes will be 6 months old in like a week and a half.
Aww - I read every bit of it sweetie! :) We have E.J. in a bassinett by our bed right now. He turned 4 months on Sunday. I plan on moving him to the crib at 6 months. I did that with my first and it went great. He goes to bed around 9:30 - 10 and gets up around 4 for a feeding then back to sleep till 7:30 or so. It is nice. But like you said, I am just waiting for him to break the rhythm. lol. He gets 2 naps a day...usually 1 1/2 - 2 hours each. I can't believe your lil guys is this old...already! Doesn't it go by soooo fast?!?! :( Hope you have a great week sweetie!
Omg, reading this made me want to cry! My little lady is only one month old, so we're still co-sleeping and will be for awhile so I can get some sleep (but I'm still losing my mind), but I can't wait for getting my bed back. I don't know how I'll get through letting her cry though :(
Mommyhood is freakin hard!
Thanks for sharing your story of sleep training. I don't have kiddos - Yet! But this is definitely one area that I am nervous about, so its so good to hear a real life experiences. Way to go!
Thanks for sharing your story of sleep training. I don't have kiddos - Yet! But this is definitely one area that I am nervous about, so its so good to hear a real life experiences. Way to go!
Ahhh...the whole sleeping thing. So tough. You deserve a major high-5 for this girl. It is SO hard to hear them cry but they have to learn that they need to sleep in their own bed. We had a horrible time with the boys as infants, and Dan worked the night shift so I was on my own. I ended up with one of them in bed with me on many nights, just so I could sleep and function at work. Thankfully we didn't let that get out of hand and they are good sleepers now.
Way to go, Momma! Adorable picture- the fuzzy hair! the pudgy fingers! He is getting so big
Yay to the wee babe! This is totally our story of babies sleeping too....we did it with both our boys and it worked like a charm....although it could totally be used to torture hostages. I nearly went crazy having to let my babies cry...but it totally works. I think it's harder on mom than babe. You'll thank yourself a bajillion times over when he's three and sleeps like an angel and isn't diving out of bed every five minutes. Good job mama!
I hung on every word of this post. Seriously! Thank you for sharing your experience. And, I am so glad it worked for you!
This doesn't sound like fun. I think Andy and I are going to do John's suggestion of "70's Style" parenting, and I have already come up with it... A Baby Laz-E-Boy. It's a mini-recliner which I strap Tuesdee in. I put on some TV, tape a bottle to his/her hand, and call it a night.
PS- Thanks for taking down your stupid security thingy while making comments. Annoying as shizzzzz.
I am vigorously taking notes....thanks for sharing your tips!
I'm new to your blog and really enjoyed this post. My son Max is 6 and a 1/2 months old, and we went through your exact same experience just two weeks ago, also doing the Ferber thing. So far so good, although he still wakes up once a night and I can't make myself let him cry it out, so I nurse him back to sleep, which only takes 10 minutes, as opposed to 40 of crying. I still come out ahead with sleep that way, or so I keep telling myself. Bad me. He is falling asleep much more easily both at bedtime and naptime, though, so I'm claiming a 90% victory. I'll stop with the night feeding, I swear...maybe this weekend...
Girl, I hear you on this!! Fin was born 7 weeks early and spent 38 days in the hospital-- on his stomach. So, fast forward to getting him home, and he hates sleeping on his back. What did I do? I let him sleep on my chest like we did in the hospital. Then, we moved to letting him sleep between us with a barrier thing... but his crib-- hell no. It was like the mattress was made of nails, when it is actually a Serta and probably nicer than our own mattress. We eventually got him to sleep in his own crib, but I thought it would never happen!
Post a Comment