Bippity Booppity! Asiago Tortellini!

Quick tidbit...My friends and I aren't a real diverse crowd. We're mostly Irish, with a little Scottish, Polish, etc...thrown in. We have our token Italian friend, Adrienne. She has an Italian name, she has olive skin and her dad makes giant pots of gravy. She's as Italian as they come. Well when it comes to the pronunciation of traditional Italian pastas and cheeses, she calls it what she grew up hearing it called. She pronounces mozzarella "mootza-rell". She calls manicotti "manigott". Being the awesome friends we are, we make fun of her for this. When we went out to dinner the other night at the nice italian joint, we proceded to pronounce every dish as Adrienne's "Italian" version. Seeing as how they replace c's for g's and drop the ending of words altogether, the famous cannoli became "ganole".

So I have no real point to telling you this tidbit besides making fun of her just a bit more. But I would like to know how she pronounces tortellini. So Adrienne, if you're out there, give us a lesson in the comments. And if you're not Adrienne but just want to make fun of her a bit, go ahead, it's a safe place to do so :)

So let's make some mothereffing tortellini! (from a mothereffing package!)

Ingredients

1 (9-ounce) package fresh three-cheese tortellini

1/2 can fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth

2 plum tomatoes, chopped

1/4 cup chopped fresh basil

1/2 cup shaved fresh Asiago cheese

Freshly ground black pepper (optional)

Directions

1. Cook pasta according to package directions, drain.

2. While pasta cooks, combine broth and tomato in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil.

3. Remove from heat; stir in basil.

4. Cover and let broth mixture stand until pasta is done. Add drained pasta to broth mixture.

5. Spoon into shallow bowls; sprinkle each serving with cheese. Garnish with basil leaves and pepper, if desired.

Oh and if you've never seen the Peter Griffin speaks Italian episode, please do yourself a favor and go watch.

Get Your Mind in the Gutter Please

Well kids, it looks like this 4th of July will be my last holiday with child (on the inside at least). My last holiday without fun blue (therefore patriotic) cocktails. My last holiday heading home early because I swear, I've never been so tired in my life. My last holiday with no appealing options like heading down the shore for the weekend, or hosting a BBQ. This last holiday will be spent at home, lovingly forcing my husband to get things done. Of course, I will volunteer to help in short spurts and bring out ice-cold water because I'm not cruel, but mostly I will be supervising...from the kitchen window.  Therefore I present to you...and to my husband for the first time, the Independence Day...

Our gutters look like Sherwood Forest and while I hear tales of how nasty it is to clean them, someone's gotta man up and do it. And that man is not me. What I am good at however, is using the blower. I like to make piles and see how OCD I can get with leaves and branches and general outdoor muckety muck.  I also like the numb feeling your arm gets after holding the blower for long periods of time. Is that weird? 

Anyway, then we move onto the burn barrel. This used to be my brother's job when he was living with us. He would toss the gasoline on the barrel and keep shoving branches and leaves in the fire, smoking up the whole yard. It was great.  We're *pretty* sure there are no laws saying we can't do this.

I also need to do something with my front porch. Unfortunately, it's one of those porches that we don't actually use. Everyone uses the side door. So, the front gets neglected. And it shows. Maybe said flag will spruce the place up a little. I decided this year I need a flag. I'm a patriotic girl. I love America. Let's do this.

And finally, painting the back door. I have a feeling this will be one of those projects that John questions...questions, like "whyyyyyy?????" To that I reply with an ever mature "Cause I said so".

So there we have it, a small to-do list of outdoor activities. Sounds fun, eh? Got any fun plans for me to be jealous of?

Italian Car Bombs!

#1 - Thank you all so much for your glorious praise of the guest room makeover. It was one of those projects that I just felt so proud of and you all gave me the warm fuzzies. Youse are the best.

So, last weekend, my awesome friends all got together to take me out to dinner at Limoncello for the big 3-0. I actually put my camera away at one point and said I am NOT going to take pictures of my food tonight, I'm just not. But then my friend Katie told me to take a picture of her steak, so I couldn't say no. But I'm not going to show you that steak. I'm on a food-posting hiatus. But not a food-eating hiatus. I've got 6 weeks left of eating crap with only slight guilt, so I'm gonna take advantage. What I did take pictures of are my pals. You can look at them.

Contrary to what it may look like, I was not wearing a tiara. That night.

That's Adrienne & Matt. And a Keurig coffee pot all wrapped up in the background. FOR ME!

That's Lisa & Shaun. Which I want to spell Shawn. But I don't. Because I'm considerate. They're from Jersey. They don't look it, do they?

That's Jeff & Kelly. Ya know what's awesome about Jeff? I had John place an order with him the night before for all the herbs I needed for my recipes this week. I show up to the restaurant and get handed a giant plastic bag full of green. He's my green grocer. And he's much more reliable than Shop Rite.

That's Sarah, Todd & Maks. You guys wanna help me steal that baby? Grab your ninja clothes and ski masks, we're goin in.

That's Katie & Andy. Katie is wearing a peacock skirt here that I love. I never asked her where she got it. I'd still like to know though.

Here's the part where my best friend might yell at me for posting her on the blog. I'm not sure though, she never comments.

Anyway, fun night out, awesome food, delicious-looking drinkies, best present ever (coffee maker!, bag of herbs and my favorite people.  Somehow we got on the conversation of booze. We don't just drink it people, we live it.  Anyway, we were discussing the Irish Car Bomb. However, since we were at an Italian restaurant that serves you complimentary shots of Italian liqueur, we may have concocted the Italian Car Bomb, as evidenced here by Kelly.

1. Take free shot of Limoncello given to you and place in the end of someone's cannoli.

2. Take the shot

3. Chase the shot with the leftover cannoli

4. Grimace in disgust

There you go friends. Try it out next time you're at the Olive Garden.

The Baby Files - Weeks 32 & 33

How far along? 33 weeks

Maternity clothes? You betcha. And although I swore I wouldn't, I bought a maternity swimsuit. And thank god I did. The weekends have been freaking unbearable and I got to wear it twice so far. Worth the $30 I spent. But, I'll spare you those belly shots.

The belly:

Sleep: We're truckin right along. Lately it's been one trip to the bathroom per night, which is more than I can say for a night out with my buddies Yuengling and Kamikaze.

Cravings: This week? Nothing crazy. Right now? A Sonic fruit slushee.

Best moment this week: Breastfeeding class, attended with my mature husband. It was actually really helpful and we learned a lot. And we got the legendary baby poop chart! It shows you EXACTLY what the baby's #2's are supposed to look like for the first week. It is straight-up NASTY. Raise your hand if you want me to forward you a copy.

Movement: Oy with the moving kid, mama says relax. I swear this kid is going to claw itself out of mah belly one of these days. Hands down weirdest thing bout pregnancy so far.

Gender: neutch

Labor Signs: Nah

What I miss: Cute clothes. Not waddling.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't take the teensiest little sip of a strawberry mojito. It's delicious and life is unfair.

What Stereotype I Embody: the Hand-on-Lower-Back Pregnancy walk....yup, that's me. The women I used to make fun of. But for reals, my friggin back is killing me. Leave me alone!

What I Bought This Week: Just a 6 pack of tiny socks. I realized we only had 3 pairs so I ask John how many he thinks we'll need. John says 3 is enough since baby feet don't sweat. Well if the child is anything like it's parents, the 6 pack will come in handy.

Oh and a HotSling off the ebays for cheap!

What I Checked off my To-Do List: I finally came to terms with this kid's name. My friends know that years ago, I convinced John to like "my" baby names. Now, it's time to actually decide on one and I don't know if I'm in like or in love with it and he's dead set on it. I realize trying to come up with a new one that both of us like with 7 weeks to go is a pointless effort. The names I decided I liked over 5 years ago are sticking. Maybe I'll give you a hint one of these days.

And no LB, neither one begins with a C!

Copy-Cat Crafts

So I've openly admitted to stealing ideas off the internet and making them myself to save a few bucks. Nothing wrong with that, eh? As long as I'm not trying to make a buck on them, I don't feel too bad. That's what the internet's there for, right? Ok, good, that was my disclaimer.

First up was a little project I saw on etsy that would have cost me about $29 to get delivered to my door from Canada. I thought the idea was not only adorable but so freaking simple to replicate. Plus, my mom used to sing this to me when I was little, so double-adorbs. I already owned the fabric and stamps, so for the cost of the embroidery hoop, some thread and a piece of white felt, I got this little number done for $2.40. Done and added to the nursery wall.

This next little gem would've ran me $32, also from an etsy seller. Don't mind my crap-tastic picture, it was impossible to get a decent shot. What we've got here folks, is a jar with a tree and some birds. And the hot glue is less visible in real life. With a few supplies from Michael's (the tree branch and set of birds), this ran me about $3. And although I think it didn't turn out as cute as the original, I'm just fine with it...only setting me back 15 minutes and $3, ya know? I really need to stop making these useless chotchkes! But the power of their cute-dar is too strong, I fall victim every time.

And finally, the actual paying job I had to finish up earlier this month. This was the centerpiece for my cousin's graduation party. And I'm happy to say I didn't steal this idea from anybody but the OG crafter, Martha. You would not believe what I used for these things though. In order to get the spray-painted branches to stand upright, I filled the ceramic planters up with spray caulk (from a can) then let it expand and dry. Cover the dried caulk with some sand and you've got yourself a sturdy little base. Do this 12 times and you've got yourself a nice little paycheck. Oh and bring your husband to help you set them up on a 95 degree morning. Definitely do that.

Got any good craft ideas you want me to steal? Need something copied on the cheap? I'm your girl.

I've Reached the Epitome of Laziness, My Friends

I know it's not a new concept but I decided to give it online grocery shopping a try. After I did my meal planning for the month, I went and made my shopping list.  Dude, I know, my organization hurts my head sometimes. Now I'm not loyal to any grocery store so I picked one that had a user-friendly looking website.

I started searching for the items on my list and was pretty excited about how easy it was to find the things I wanted. It also showed options for most things and even sale prices. The best part is that I could sort by price. So when they have 5 different brands of chicken stock and I could give two shits which brand it is, they show me the cheapest one first. Sweet.

Online Shopping 1, In-Person Shopping 0

Another feature I liked it was how I could put in a vague search term and it came back with all my options. For example, I need a bag of frozen butternut squash. I've never bought this before. I could just picture myself in the frozen foods aisle walking up and down looking for one little bag of squash. Yooo hooo!!! Squashy!!! Where are yoouuuu???And not finding it. The website pulled it right up for me. Thanks website! 

Online Shopping 2, In-Person Shopping 0

Granted, this was first time so it took me quite a bit of time to go through and pick out every item I wanted. I guess this is normally the time it takes to walk through the store. This time however, I spent sitting on my butt. This one's a draw.

Online Shopping 2, In-Person Shopping 0

The one section I wasn't thrilled with was the meat section. I like to buy my packages of boneless chicken breasts and tenders based on the size and what's on sale. Since there are only two of us, I always go for the smaller packages.  However, the site was only offering a vague Boneless Chicken Breast option and had a 3lb minimum. Hmmm, do I really feel like divying it up when it gets to my kitchen? Not really. And I'm not sure I love mystery meat. Mystery Machines, yes. Mystery meats? No. 

Online Shopping 2, In-Person Shopping 1

So I finish loading up my cart and realize that there are 2 items I couldn't find on the site. Luckily they have a box for any additional instructions and comments. So I asked them for a jar of Picante sauce and 4 Poblano peppers. They told me they were able to locate both. Score. 

Online Shopping 3, In-Person Shopping 1

I decide that I'm going to pick up my order that night since the next available delivery time would be the next morning while I'm at work. Plus I'm also saving $10 for pick-up versus $20 for delivery. My order was placed around 2:30 pm and they tell me the soonest I can pick up is 7:00 pm. Are they that busy with online ordering? That seems like an awful long time.

Online Shopping 3, In-Person Shopping 2

Around 6:45 that night, while getting ready to head out the door I realized I missed a call from the store. The message basically said that they were running behind and my order wouldn't be available until a little later. They neglected to say when "later" was. So I call the store back and ask them. They ask me to come at 8pm. I say no, that's inconvenient for me. I tell them I'll be there around 7:30. They don't really "agree" to that but we get off the phone. Shannon not happy.

Online Shopping 3, In-Person Shopping 3

So we head to Lowe's to pick up a few things and get to the grocery store around 7:40 or so. I park in the specially designated parking spot and spot the camera aimed at me. The website stated that all I had to do was pull in and an employee would come out to greet me. So we waited. Next thing I know, it's 8:05 and we finally see a girl walking towards my car. She offers up some lame apology then ignored my not-so-jokingly comment about having my $10 service fee removed. She starts playing with a little scanner and asking me if it's ok for a few substitutions. I say they are fine. She goes back into the store to get my total. Tick tock, tick tock.

Online Shopping 3, In-Person Shopping 4

We spent the next 15 minutes trying to decide if we should leave. On one hand, where the eff was this girl? This was ridiculous. They are more than an hour late. On the other hand, if we leave, we're out all the time we spent there plus we have no groceries. At 8:20, with no signs of her, we leave. PISSED.

Online Shopping 3, In-Person Shopping 5

Now luckily, you do not have to give them a credit card number when you place your order. They anticipate having changes/substitutions when you get there so they tally it up when all is said and done. This bit of knowledge led me to turn my car on and drive home. A few minutes later I get a phone call from the store, from a manager of some sort. Apologizing up and down and saying I could come pick up my order. Ha. Serious? No, I tell them, you can deliver it. 5pm tomorrow. Be at my house. No fees. They agree.

Online Shopping 4, In-Person Shopping 5

The next night arrives. 5pm comes and goes. At 6:25, a van pulls into my driveway. Again, not happy. Do these people not understand the concept of TIME?!?!

Online Shopping 4, In-Person Shopping 6

Inside is a really nice non-grocery store related delivery man. He brings the bags inside the house, I pay him and he leaves. I unpack everything and make sure it's all there.  It is. It's even kinda fun pulling things out of the bag. Like someone else did all my shopping for me and it's all a surprise to me. But it's all things I need! Yay!

Online Shopping 5, In-Person Shopping 6

However, instead of Picante sauce, they brought me salsa. Meh.

Online Shopping 5, In-Person Shopping 7

So all in all, while the score might have come pretty close between the two options, I think my general aggravation over the 24 hour period counts for at least 12 points. For the In-Person Shopping side obviously.  I *might* someday give another grocery store another chance but I think John would have my head.  He's the lucky recipient of those 24 hours of aggravation ya know.  In the meantime, I'm very seriously considering shooting this post off to the store manager and demanding free stuff or I say the words...Shop Rite. Woops, already did.

Guest House Makeover!

Well folks, the guest room makeover is complete! However, it's too pretty. I really don't want any guests over messing up my bedding and whatnot. Insane? Yes. Kidding? Only sort of. Anywho, let's get to the makeover. If you want the background on how and why, read this first. I used my MaggieRose moodboard as part shopping list, part inspiration.

Unfortunately or fortunately my budget was teeny so I did a lot of "shopping" around my own house. I used my buddy Craigslist for a couple pieces and a few newbies for good measure. Let's get to the pics.

Before

After

Details: Maggie originally recommended that I paint that dark dresser white and move it to the side of the bed as a nightstand. Tried it, didn't fit. Then I remembered a sidetable that my pal LB had reno'd and sold to me that I still had sitting in the basement. Upstairs she came, already white. So I searched CL for a twin and was pumped to find one for $15 a few miles away. One can of primer and one can of spray paint later, I had two little matching nightstands.

I also remembered these storage ottomans I scored at Target years ago and had been using them as nightstands in our old guest room - now nursery. Love when I remember to buy neutrals so I can move them around. I thought they fit perfectly at the bottom of the bed and now store extra sheets, blankets and booze for those cold winter nights. What? My guests can't enjoy a nightcap?

Before

After

Details: This room features my very first DIY headboard. While Maggie's choice in fabric was awesome, I had to go with a cheaper option. I was going to use some nailhead trim on it too to gussy it up a bit but realized that you have to have it exactly even and straight for it not to look like crap. And since I have no patience for levels or rulers, that idea went out the window. And since I now needed something else to bring in some color, I used this green & cream fabric I scored on the cheap to Stitch-Witcherize some old throw pillows I had. Then I promptly thew them on the bed. I'm totally proud of both creations. Then I needed some artwork for the Ikea frames Maggie recommended, so off to the internet I went for some free artwork. I chose three different water lily scenes since they brought in the green, white and a bit of purple.

I picked up the lamp bases Maggie picked out and immediately fell in love with them. Since I was now using a brighter green accent color versus the sage Maggie picked out, I had to choose different shades. I went with these simple linen ones from Targ. Love them too.

Before

After

Details: The simple Ikea desk stayed put even though I hadn't planned on it. I wasn't finding too much in the way of awesome desks on CL so I decided it wasn't totally necessary at this point. I picked up this director's chair and canvas at freaking Lowe's for 15 bucks. You cannot beat that with a bat. Add a few accessories and we've got a spot to sit to do whatever it is my guests will be doing.

Before

After

Details: One of my favorite parts of the makeover was the window treatments. Maggie picked out a great option at Ikea but can you believe they were even a little expensive for my taste? I found these great wood look-alike vinyl shades at Targ for $12.99 each. The woodgrain up close is pretty freaking awesome. They were easy to install and definitely look a hell of a lot better than ol' whiteys up there. I also chose to keep the tall media shelf, mostly due to laziness. Add a few books & accessories plus a tiny slipper chair I scored on CL and you've got yourself a little reading nook. And who doesn't love a nook?

Before

After

Details: Finally I scooted the original dresser over to this area since it had nowhere else to go. I dug up some old Ikea artwork we had hanging in our old house and had been living in our basement and hung it up. Not the greatest looking thing but it'll do for now.

What do you guys think? I feel like I got a lotta bang for a little buck here. And it took me less than a month to do! Yay me! So obvs, since I can't sit still, I'm tackling the final project in this room. Behind the wall above is a powder room. A teeny, hideous powder room. It now feels embarrased being next to the hotness of the guest room. I feel it's pain. I'm gonna throw it a bone. Well actually, John's gonna throw it a bone since it involves painting and power tools, which I don't really do. And all of this before Blinky!

Here's the deets if you're interested...

Already Owned: Dresser, Bed, Desk, Brown Blanket and Quilt, Bookshelf, One Nightstand, Storage Ottomans, Various Accessories

Bought: Accent Chair $30 from Craigslist, Nightstand $15 from Craigslist, Blinds $12.99 each from Target, Director’s Chair $15 from Lowes, Comforter and Shams $25 from TJ Maxx, Throw Pillow Fabric $4 from Joann Fabric, Headboard Materials $40 from Lowes and Joann Fabric, Frames $9.99 each from Ikea, Lamp Bases $14.98 each on clearance from Target, Lamp Shades $14.99 each from Target, Accessories $30 from Ikea, Goodwill, One Sweet Find, Paint & Other Materials: $15

Grand Total: $302.88

I rule.

Can I Interest You in a Bit of Irritability?

Well it's been a few weeks since I last shared the last things that make me want to bang my head against the wall, so I'm back with more. Feel free to chime in.

The Prices at Goodwill

Ok, Goodwill, I know you just went through a major renovation and probably spent a shit-ton of money on it and I can appreciate that.  (Not my store pictured above either, but can you believe they actually look like that?) You might have shiny new racks and clean shelves now but when it comes down to it, you're still a thrift store. You still sell used things. You still smell like an old lady attic. You can put lipstick on a pig Goodwill, but it's still a pig. So I'm not sure where you get off with your pricing choices. A broken mirror from the 70's should not cost $12. I'm not sure if you realize it but I can get a better, NEW mirror at Walmart or Big Lots for the same price, possibly even less.  And I definitely love your relationship with Target that allows you to get their cast-offs but when you price them right up there near Target's original price, I'm not sure where the deal is.  There was a reason they were cast-offs. THEY DIDN'T SELL! So how's about you start thinking about the product you're selling when running that price gun over it and we'll all feel much better about the whole situation. Thanks.

Wawa Parking Lots

First of all, some knowledge for the non-locals: Wawa is our convenience store. It started here in our county and has spread up and down the east coast. If you don't have one, you are SO missing out.  They are open 24/7 and have awesome food.  Everyone around here hits a Wawa at least once a day I think.  Anyway, the front parking lot spaces have words painted on them that say "No Truck or Van Parking".  I'd venture to say they say this because they know that their parking lots are always crazy and when you're trying to back out, if you're next to a truck or van, you can't see shit.  Well apparently, truck and van drivers at "my" Wawa don't realize that they're not driving SmartCars. I risk my life every day backing out because Joe Effing Schmoe Plumbing and Mechanical Contractors' Van is blocking my view. Meh to you good sirs. 

Freaking Swollen Ankles

They are no pregnancy myth, my friends. I'm here, in my 8th month, in June, to admit to the balloon-ing of my ankles.  The recommended treatment? Put them up. Ok, sorry work, I'm outta here, I need to go home and put my feet up. What??? I have a hard time relaxing and sitting still as is, how am I supposed to find time to put my feet up? And the best part? I've committed myself to only wearing flip-flops and skirts until labor-day and we all know how awesome flat flip flops make your legs look. Combine that with a puffy foot and ankle and you've got yourself a nice little disgusting picture.  Serenity now!

I Turned 30 and All's I Got Was This Steak

Ok not really, I got some awesome presents too. But maybe you remember me mentioning a steak craving once or six times? Well my adorable husband came through and took me out for a high-falutin din din.  Isn't he adorbs? And how about that upholstered seating? Also nice to look at.

We went to Mile High Steak & Seafood. Isn't it gorgeous? I go for the decor and stay for the hunks of meat.  Oh and yes, it has an unfortunate name. Who's bright idea was that?

And in addition to my lovely glass of 2010 Ginger Ale, I started off with a pressed spinach & strawberry salad. Wait, I go for the decor and stay for the goat cheese. I always stay for the goat cheese.

John opted for the Roasted Mushroom Napoleon, which was layers of shrooms on crispy wontons. Did I mention we live a few miles from the mushroom capital of the world? (I'm only slightly making up that fact) So obvs we get the creme de la creme of shrooms round here. He said it was good so there you go...

And clearly, what you've all been waiting for. My steak! Woot! I know I said I wanted a filet but I ended up going with a Barrel Cut Rib-Eye with a Gorgonzola Cream Sauce (*dies*) after the waiter's glowing recommendation.

It was nothing short of incredible. It was the most perfect meal I'd had in a longgg time. Who knows, I've got 7 weeks left of pregnancy, I may have a few more "cravings". Sorry John. It was too good.  Oh! And can you believe we didn't order dessert? Trust me, I scoured the dessert menu looking for the perfect treat. But at $9 a pop, nothing was screaming at me to be eaten. So we did what any classy couple does, we stopped at McD's on the way home for $1 cones. Poifect.

And with that, I think I need to stop talking about food for awhile. I think 9 out of 10 of my last posts are about food. Hellooooo elastic waistband!

Knock Knock...Who's There?

Man, can I come up with the catchy blog titles or what? So my recent steak craving (which was finally satisfied this past weekend!) in combination with my willingness to eat anything with the word pizza in the title, had me cooking up this little number.  While it wasn't the butter-dipped filet I had my sights set on, it was a nice little change in the ol' dinnertime routine.

Sliced Steak Pizzaiola

Ingredients:
 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 beef flank steak (about 1 1/2 pounds)
2 medium onions, sliced (about 1 cup)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning, crushed
2 cups spaghetti sauce

Directions
Heat the  oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the beef and cook for 10 minutes or until it's well browned on both sides. Remove the beef from the skillet. Pour off any fat.

Add the onions, garlic and Italian seasoning to the skillet. Cook until the onions are tender. Return the beef to the skillet. Stir in the sauce. Reduce the heat to low. Cook the beef for 3 minutes for medium-rare or to desired doneness.

Slice the beef into thin diagonal slices. Serve with the sauce.

And don't worry, I was class-less enough top break out my camera at the fancy steakhouse John took me to this past weekend. Glorious steak pictures to come....

It's a Hot One Out There Folks

Are you positive I'm having a girl? Have you examined my rear lately and decided I'm having a boy? Or are you my mother-in-law and think that I'm carrying ALL OVER and WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT ANYMORE WEIGHT? Are you my aunts who *know* the Blink will be born on your birthday? Or are you a complete stranger who couldn't give a crap either way? Whoever you are, go hit up my baby pool!

The Baby Files - Week 31

How far along? 31 weeks....that's almost 8 months for you english majors

Maternity clothes? Totally. And I got the best compliments from some of my aunts this past weekend about the 2 dresses they saw me wearing. They said I have the cutest maternity gear! I let them in on the secret that the maternity industry made 2 cute dresses this year and I bought them both.

The belly:

Week 31 features zero maternity clothes, just Target's extra-long beaters. And there's still room to grow!

 Sleep: We're still on a sleeping through the night kick and boy oh boy, is it sweet. The night sweats can't bring me down.

Cravings: I've been craving a filet mignon like nobody's business. So guess what I'm getting tonight for my big birthday dinner? I'll give you a hint. It's going to be roughly 6 to 8 oz of delicious butter-covered meat. Maybe some asparagus...mashed potatoes if we've got time. Who knows.


Best moment this week: Obvs my shower. It's so fun to see so many people get excited over Wee Wellington!

Movement: Ok ok so I know I should be thrilled and captivated by this kicking and punching child inside of me, but honestly? It's kind of annoying. Like dude, whoever you are in there, calm down.


Gender: Boy.

just kidding.

Labor Signs: Nada and I'll thank you to keep your stories of your early labors to yourself.


Belly Button in or out? I think we can delete this question now. If you care, there's something wrong with you. Stop being a creep.


What I miss: Have I mentioned that I'd love a drink lately? No? Then I'd love a drink.


Weekly Wisdom: Don't look at yourself from the side.


Pregnancy is a Good Excuse for: It being dress-down day every day at work. Flip-flops for the remainder of the summer? Don't mind if I do!


What I Bought This Week: Dude, nothing. Everything was bought for me! I got dipes and wipes and books out the wazoo. I got baby washclothes and towels and baby shampoo. I got Bumbos and Boppys and other made up words. And my pal Sarah hooked me up with the new mom necessity bag which included all the things you need but never want to buy for yourself: hemorroid cream, medicated pads, nip cream, cheap vodka. What a gal.


What I Checked off my To-Do List: Um, got baby things? And I put most of it away too! I also got a TON done on the guest room, which isn't really baby related but kinda is. I need to be done it before the Blink arrives. Pics coming soon, swears! Nursery on the other hand still needs a few details here and there before it's final debut.


Milestones: Holy crap. This coming week the baby starts turning into the size of a honeydew. Then later begins it's descent into my pelvis. I feel like I should start composing a playlist for this little roadtrip of his/hers. Ya know, pack a cooler of amniotic fluid, some Funyons, maybe some twizzlers for the road. Life is a highway, Blink, a highway to my pelvis. Pack lightly.

My Only Vice Left: Grubbin

Thanks for all the birthday lovin yesterday! John showered me with some awesome gifts that I will take pictures of this weekend to share. And my awesome mom and brother took us out for birthday dinner at Azie, which is the former home of the West End, a bar we used to frequent. Don't mind our fresh from a day of work greasy hair and outfits. And my round face that matches my round bell....don't mind that either.

Hi Ma!

Oh hey husband, you could use a shave.

How much did I wanna take a big gulp?

Crab Fried Rice!

John's idea of heaven...

My din...chicken and rice. Could I be any more adventurous?

Avocado Salad!

Free dessert. They must have heard my affinity for all things miniature.

Oh! And someone asked for my cupcake recipes from yesterday. Here you go...

1. Buy box of cake mix and jar of icing

2. In case of Mint Chocolate Chip cupcakes, add mint extract to cake mix and frosting

3. Make