It’s both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I know I am extremely fortunate that I’ll be able to stay home and raise Blinky and Blinky juniors when they come along. Every mother I’ve ever talked to has said that they wished they could do this. Of course, in my head right now, it’s all workouts and house projects while baby’s napping. It’s playdates and crafts when kiddies get a little older. But I know this isn’t reality all the time. I know it’ll be a struggle to find time to shower. It’ll be heartbreaking to go to Target for dipes and wipes and not throw a pair of cute shoes or table runner in my cart just because I “used to be able to”. It’s terrifying to think about being at home all day, every day, by myself (essentially).
I don’t want to become one of those mothers posting their kid’s bowel movements on my Facebook status update. I don’t want to bore the crap out of my friends with just darling spit-up stories. That’s not gonna fly with me. I’m scared of becoming one of “those” moms. Ones who are so engrossed in their child’s life that they have no other interests and can talk about nothing else besides Hayden/Brayden/Jayden. Eff that.
Then there’s the financial aspect of being a SAHM. That’s the truly scary part. One salary. Me, most likely, on some sort of allowance. Picture me with hands over ears, eyes closed, lalalalalala. I don’t want to think about that part. I’ve never been a coupon-clipper or budgeter. Combine that with the fact that my husband is a label-whore and we’re in for a rude awakening. When I walk in with Target brand swiffer duster sheets and he questions why I bought Target brand because he thinks they don’t work as well, you know it ain’t gonna be pretty.
But like everything else, we’re just gonna wing it. We have the opportunity to do this and we’re gonna try it. Just believe that down the road, I’ll be that annoying mom, covered in spit-up, reminding everyone that “I have a degree though!” “I was worth something once!!” “I was paid to use my brain for something besides Candyland!” You’re all in for a real treat.