Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangsta

Sorry for the vulgarity, Mom.

Well, it’s official. After 15 years of working hard for my money, I will soon be a stay-at-home Mom. I gave work 4 months notice this week. They’ve always treated me well so I felt like it was something I should do in return, stick around and train a newbie. So I’ll continue to work full-time up until something gross happens like water breaks/mucus plug exits/membranes get stripped. (Sorry, that was for my non-pregnant friends that can’t stomach these things). That’s about 4 months of having to pretend I care about my work and 4 more short months of keeping my mouth zipped shut when all I really wanna do is tear someone a new one. But it's also 4 months of seeing the light at the end of the working gal's tunnel. The light that means you don't have to deal with cubicles and pc-load letters and showing your boss how to scan a document for the umpteenth time. The light that is synonymous with winning the lottery.

It’s both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I know I am extremely fortunate that I’ll be able to stay home and raise Blinky and Blinky juniors when they come along. Every mother I’ve ever talked to has said that they wished they could do this. Of course, in my head right now, it’s all workouts and house projects while baby’s napping. It’s playdates and crafts when kiddies get a little older. But I know this isn’t reality all the time. I know it’ll be a struggle to find time to shower. It’ll be heartbreaking to go to Target for dipes and wipes and not throw a pair of cute shoes or table runner in my cart just because I “used to be able to”. It’s terrifying to think about being at home all day, every day, by myself (essentially).

I don’t want to become one of those mothers posting their kid’s bowel movements on my Facebook status update. I don’t want to bore the crap out of my friends with just darling spit-up stories. That’s not gonna fly with me. I’m scared of becoming one of “those” moms. Ones who are so engrossed in their child’s life that they have no other interests and can talk about nothing else besides Hayden/Brayden/Jayden. Eff that.

Then there’s the financial aspect of being a SAHM. That’s the truly scary part. One salary. Me, most likely, on some sort of allowance. Picture me with hands over ears, eyes closed, lalalalalala. I don’t want to think about that part. I’ve never been a coupon-clipper or budgeter. Combine that with the fact that my husband is a label-whore and we’re in for a rude awakening. When I walk in with Target brand swiffer duster sheets and he questions why I bought Target brand because he thinks they don’t work as well, you know it ain’t gonna be pretty.

But like everything else, we’re just gonna wing it. We have the opportunity to do this and we’re gonna try it. Just believe that down the road, I’ll be that annoying mom, covered in spit-up, reminding everyone that “I have a degree though!” “I was worth something once!!” “I was paid to use my brain for something besides Candyland!” You’re all in for a real treat.

Get Your Hodgepodge Here!

Another rainy Monday here. Rainy Mondays put me in such a good mood. Meh. But I shouldn't complain because we had a rather productive weekend. Which is a far cry from 3 months ago, when I was unable to peel myself from the couch every day (1st trimester blahs). We headed to Ikea Friday night with 2 things on my list: a hamper for the nursery and storage boxes. I love their bright cheap office storage so much I use it all around the house.

I also successfully made another recipe, Lemon Glaze Chicken. I got really excited about this one because it wasn't too high on the Paula Deen scale of fat-laden-ness and we both really enjoyed it. Make it!

INGREDIENTS
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (pounded to about 1/3-inch thickness)
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 large egg
1 cup dry breadcrumbs
1/4 teaspoon poultry seasoning
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4-1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt
1-2 tablespoon olive oil

LEMON GLAZE
1/4 cup chicken broth
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt )
4-5 thin lemon slices
fresh parsley, chopped

DIRECTIONS

1. In a small bowl or shallow dish whisk together mustard and eggs; set aside.

2. Combine the dry bread crumbs with poultry seasoning, garlic powder and seasoning salt; spread on a piece of waxed paper.

3. Dip the breasts firstly in egg/mustard mixture (shake off any excess egg) then coat well with the crumb mixture, pressing downs with hands to adhear the crumbs to the breast.

4. Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.

5. Add in the chicken and cook for about 5 minutes on each side, or until it is no longer pink inside; remove and transfer to a plate to keep warm.

6. For the glaze; in the same skillet add in the broth, lemon juice and 1/4 teaspoon salt (or to taste, if using capers add in now) bring to a boil scraping any brown bits from the pan.

7. Add in lemon slices and parsley; mix to combine for about 1 minute.

8. Spoon the glaze/sauce over chicken.

I also spent some time baking these lil puppies up for my pal Sarah's baby shower. I almost went into a hormonal meltdown when the grocery store was out of the right cookie dough. But they turned out pretty cute and were pretty tasty, which is important to some people I guess. I'm not one of those people. If it looks cute, that's good enough.

Andddd said baby shower!

Babies like sleeping in coolers atop packing peanuts. Known fact.

I love a nice non-tradish baby shower, you know, the ones that include dudes. And gee-tar sunglasses. And getting yelled at by an old lady for going near someone's baby. Good times.

Other weekend highlights included a visit to see my Mom and Nan and putting together the crib! Lowlights included getting very snippy with the Papa John's Pizza girl who told me they wouldn't deliver to our house. Deny this girl some pizza and feel the wrath.

I Clearly Have Too Much Time on My Hands

Bonjour

Mon nom est Sebastian et je suis dans le besoin de conseil. Je vis avec mon papa et cette dame Shannon. Je me suis rencontré il y a ces années de dame et ai immédiatement pris le fait de lui détester. Elle m'a clairement fait le même. Je ne suis pas sûr pourquoi elle ne m'a pas aimé. Je suis beau, non ? Elle n'a pas vu mes grands yeux de soucoupe et manteau mou de pelage bleu gris ? Elle doit avoir été aveugle. J'ai cru qu'elle partirait un moment après, mais hélas, elle continue à vivre dans moi et la maison de mon papa. Bien qu'elle me traite mieux au cours des dernières années, je suis toujours prudent d'elle.

Mon papa et elle pour penser je ne les entends pas parlant de moi. Ils sont convaincus que je devrais tirer mon poids autour de la maison, faire des travaux de routine pour eux ou en contribuant financièrement. Et bien que je n'aie aucun pouce opposable, ils continuent à concevoir des occupations pour moi. La plus longue course à pied de celui consiste en ce que je travaille dans un salon de pizza. Je porte un smoking très petit et porte des plateaux de pizza sur mon revers. Ils le trouvent hilarant. Je ne fais pas. Je refuse à l'humour eux. Ils aiment aussi m'imaginer en portant un béret très petit et une moustache de crayon, en faisant le tour du dicton des choses comme “oui oui” et de "monsieur". Qu'est-ce qui est incorrect avec eux ? Comment puis-je les faire se rendre compte que je ne suis pas un jouet ? Une plaisanterie. Je suis juste un chat essayant de manger, dormir et aller des noix chaque une fois dans un moment. Je dois imaginer que le reste d'entre vous les propriétaires de chat là-bas ne ferait jamais rien comme cela. Comment puis-je les recevoir pour m'arrêter ?

Signé,

Sans-emploi dans le PAPA

If you are just as bored as I am and need to see what my cat is trying to say, go translate here.

Hoarder

I am a craft idea hoarder. I save images at home & at work and email myself links of projects that I HAVE to make. I love the thought of making things. I even go so far as to buy materials to make things. But when it comes to sitting down and doing it, I fail. I blame it on my impatience/laziness. If something requires a repetitious step, I’ll probably get tired of doing it, no matter how cute the outcome promises to be. If the weather isn’t conducive to the project, it gets delayed indefinitely (i.e. something needs to get painted). I don't see myself changing anytime soon so...

It is now my mission to only take on crafty endeavors that have 5 steps or less. I started with the Faux Sheepskin throw and that turned out nice. Painting and decoupaging birds was under 5 steps and I loved the results. Now I’ve got a lil springtime Tissue Paper Wreath for my front door. I first saw the idea over at Domestic Adventure. It contained ingredients I already owned! Sold! So I sat and made tissue paper flowers while watching tv then attached them to a cardboard ring that I cut out. Of a pizza box. I attached some wire and boom! I’m done. The flowers almost lost me because it was a lot of the same thing, folding, twisting & pulling apart. But I muddled through it for a half hour and actually completed the project. Yay me!

In other news, is this week over yet? It's already had its highs (seeing Blink & a Chick-Fil-A milkshake) and its lows (my assinine, dramatical family) so I'm bout ready to be done with it. The weather is looking good for the weekend, we've got a crib to build and we've got a fancy baby shower to attend. All things I'd much rather be doing right now. Here's hoping the rest of the week flies by

It's Not a Puppy!

We make a pretty cute fetus eh?

Bird Bird Bird, The Birds the Word

I love unexpectedly awesome weekends. I got to see a bff of mine every night. Friday night I tagged along with Sarah to a book club started by some gals we went to high school with. They were reading Sellevision by Augusten Burroughs and Sarah knew that he is my most favorite author of all time so she invited me along. As with most book clubs, it was really just an excuse to get together, eat some finger food, have some drinks and chit-chat. Plus, the host Michelle has a ridiculously cute new baby to coo at, so that's kind of a bonus. And I got to see Tursi! Also a bonus. Really, it was just sweet to get out of my house for a sober night out. So thanks guys!

Then I woke John up bright and early the next morning to head to Home Depot. You know what time it was. It was nursery-painting time. With two days of sun and 70 degree weather, it was prime time for opening windows and letting that shizz air out. We picked out our primer & paint and over the next two days, John transformed the bubble-gum factory pink guest room into a babylicious cream fit for a girl Blinky or a boy Blinky.

Saturday night, my pal Lisa ventured over from Jerz to have dinner with me. I hadn't seen her in a month of Sundays, or maybe more. We drank cokes (with caffiene!!) and ate crocks of french onion soup. We avoided awkward run-ins with people we know and discussed the skank-titude of the entire waitstaff. Just like old times. But substitute cokes with coors lights. Those were old times.

Then came Sunday and the arrival of Kelly. We had one goal and that was to paint. I wanted to make some nursery art for the Blink and she just wanted to get back into painting again. So she taught me how to mix colors and what brushes to use and whatnot. She painted happy little trees, while I concentrated on just painting aqua backgrounds. Then she drew me some birds and we mod podge'd em onto the canvas. I am in love with how they turned out. Aren't they cute? And look how good I am at painting a background. I'll now answer to Bob Ross.

The Baby Files - Week 19

Pregnancy for the lazy blogger...

How far along? 20 weeks

Total weight gain: 9 lbs

Maternity clothes? Just pants for now. And I'm never giving them up.

The belly:

Sleep: Just fine. I've stopped having to get up at 4am to pee so that's nice.

Cravings: Milkshakes, Ham Sandwiches...but not together

Best moment this week: I felt something!

Movement: I just said it! I felt something! Actually a few little somethings. I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's Blinky saying hey.

Gender: Couldn't tell ya

Labor Signs: God, no.

Belly Button in or out? In. And it better stay that way.

What I miss: Besides the obvious (my social life), I miss being able to bend over easily. We've got a ton of clean-up to do in the yard this weekend but I know I'm not going to be much help. That sucks.

Weekly Wisdom: Seriously? I don't know what I'm doing.

Milestones: We're almost halfway there! Woot!

No Beer. Just Grilled Cheese.

Top of the mornin all. It's another St. Patrick's Day where I cannot fulfill my ancestral obligations of getting hammered. I told my friends they're gonna revoke my Irishness soon if I don't get a drink in me and bounce up and down clapping to some terrible Irish band. I didn't even wear green today. Why? Because I don't think about those sort of things. However, you can bet your sweet ass that come next year when I have a 7 month old! (!!) that kiddo will be sporting a tiny green top hat and possibly beer mug glasses. Until then, once again I implore you to go get a little extra tipsy...for me.

In the meantime, let's eat.

Sweet sassy molassy. You have got to go make these NOW. Continuing with the fancy theme this week is Fancy Grilled Cheese, whose recipe I grabbed from Indigo's Sugar Spectrum. John was skeptical. He is a plain grilled cheese kinda guy. When I told him that this recipe involved honey, I got a raised eyebrow. But I convinced him it was going to be awesome and crossed my fingers.

It was.

C'mon look at it. Click it. Enlarge it. Look closer. It was the perfect blend of flavors. And the honey? Ridic. And the dishes? New Liberty of London from Targ. Adorbs.

INGREDIENTS
Bread (I used regular white sandwich bread)
Butter
Havarti Cheese, shredded or deli Havarti.
Roma Tomatoes, Thinly Sliced
Basil, Chopped
Honey
Oil (veggie)

DIRECTIONS
Lightly oil a frying pan, and put over a medium high heat. Place a piece of bread that has been buttered on one side down into the pan (buttered side down). Place Havarti, Tomato slices & chopped basil on top of bread. Next you will want to drizzle the honey on top, don't skimp! Place the 2nd piece of buttered bread on top then flip.

Last Step: Devour and consider making another.

Faux Sheepskin Rugs Make We Did

My pal Katie & I decided to rip off the Faux Sheepskin Rug/Throw project from Young House Love this past weekend. It wasn't #1 on my DIY to-do list but whenever one of my friends wants to get crafty, I'm all over it. Off to Jo-Ann we go in search of the perfect fur. Imagine my surprise when we realized Jo-Ann's selection was pretty limited. Shocking, I know. Now, if you're in the market for leopard print crushed velvet, then Jo-Ann is the place to go. But I digress, we picked out the best of the best that they had and at $9.99/yard we were pretty pleased. It was thinner than the fabric YHL scored so it wasn't quite as poofy, but it still got the job done.

Back to Katie's we went, armed with printed out directions from YHL, and started working on our sheep body template. Along the way, we kept asking ourselves, What Would Sherry Do? It was all quite hysterical. And even more so when we realized that our template outline resembled Yoda. So Katie did her best and came up with a Yoda-Kitten combination.

See? That uneven paper placement? That would never fly over at YHL.

Out of 2 and a half yards of fabric, we made 5 small throws and one big one. That's bout 4 bucks each, folks. Can't beat it with a stick.

After we popped em in the dryer for a few minutes, they came out a little floofier and smoother. Done.

Photo shoot!

This project was pretty idiot-proof. We think Yoda proud would be.

Fancy Schmancy

Here's the deal. My friend Sarah is having a baby. Soon! She's the first of our little crew to get pregnant so it's all very exciting and new. She's due in early May and although there will a shower, we wanted to do a little something different for her and the baby. But before i go any furthur, let me explain something. Sarah's baby's nickname is Fancy. Has been since she got pregnant. Of course, there were a few others that she tested out, like Sarah Jr or Ghostface Killa (Wu-Tang if your clueless) but Fancy stuck. So in our usual fashion of taking something random and running with it, we decided to have a "Fancy" day.

We picked her up and off to the big city we went. We stopped off for some photo ops along the way to show Fancy some of the important places in his or her very very young life. First up was Sarah's husband's old apartment, where they first courted. Oh and FYI, Sarah is the best poser. Ever.

Then we stopped off for lunch at Beau Monde for fancy crepes! I had the Goat Cheese, Spinach and Tomato Crepe Pizza. Here's where I blatantly ignore warnings of soft cheeses. Apparently they're a no-no for pregs. Goat is my faaaaave.

After lunch we headed to the Nail Bar, where as expected, they do your nails at a bar! And serve you booze! Or tea and water. Whatevs. We got our fingers and toes done all fancy-like.

I think Sarah's toenail polish was called "Shrimp Boat Cap'n" or something interesting like that.

Next we headed to a very fancy baby store, called Born Yesterday. We just walked around squealing and touching things like tiny hats. Sarah picked out a tiny shark tee for Fancy...

and paid the nice ladies with large fancy money.


We then headed to Magic Gardens, which is a pretty, sparkly, interesting place. More importantly, it's fancy. It's a huge garden made of mosaics, mirros, bottles, bicycle wheels, dishes and whatever else is lying around. It's one of those places that I've driven by 1000 times and had never been in. I love being a tourist in this city.

Then we ate some more. Then off to the pride of South Philly, the Mummer's Museum. If you don't know what a Mummer is, please go check it out. They are a legend in Philly and in fact, one of the categories is Fancy Brigade! So we stopped off for a quick pic at the museum, even though it was closed.

Of course, props were handed out. Mummers wear huge elaborate, often sparkly, costumes. So beads, giant sunglasses, mini feather boas were appropriate. And a tiny sparkly hat, just for the real Fancy.

So we're standing there posing for pics and realize that there's some kind of event going on inside and there's guys actually standing inside the doors. So we open up and ask if we can come in for a quick pic. Being the generally friendly old-school South Philly-ians that they were, they let us in. Thinking we were tourists from the Midwest or something, they graciously ask where we're from. "Oh, here", we say. I think they were disappointed.

But check out the creepy mannequins. All very fancy.

It was an awesome day. And we're so glad Fancy enjoyed herself. And Sarah.

Meatloaf, Smeatloaf, Double Beatloaf

Mini Meatloaves! Adorbs!

I made this recipe years ago and promptly forgot about it. I pulled it from one of those Kraft magazines they used to send out for free before Kraft got too cheap. I love it for the complete lack of ingredients. And it's versatile! Woo!

Take 1 lb. extra-lean ground beef, 1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix and 1 cup water and mix & match your recipe from these options:

seasoning options: 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
add-in choices: spaghetti sauce
cheese possibilities: KRAFT Shredded Mozzarella Cheese

seasoning options: 2 tsp. chili powder
add-in choices: TACO BELL® HOME ORIGINALS® Thick 'N Chunky Salsa
cheese possibilities: KRAFT Mexican Style Finely Shredded Four Cheese

seasoning options:1 tsp. dried oregano leaves
add-in choices: chopped roasted red peppers
cheese possibilities: ATHENOS Traditional Crumbled Feta Cheese

seasoning options:1 tsp. garlic powder
add-in choices: KRAFT or BULL'S-EYE Original Barbecue Sauce
cheese possibilities: KRAFT Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Then:

to 375°F. Mix meat, stuffing mix, water and seasoning until well blended. Press into 12 muffin cups sprayed with cooking spray.

MAKE indentation in center of each with back of spoon; fill evenly with 3/4 cup add-ins.

BAKE 30 min. or until meatloaves are done (160°F). Top with 3/4 cup cheese; bake 5 min. or until melted. Let stand 10 min.

It doesn't hurt that John has an unhealthy addiciton to Stove-Top, therefore I could mix it with potting soil and he'd go to town. I went with the BBQ sauce & cheddar option and it was mighty tasty. I can see this one sticking around for a few years. And btw, don't the Pam spray droplets look appetizing? Is there an opening for food photog for Food & Wine Magazine? I'm a shoo-in.

The Nursery: Sneaky Peeky

Here she is. The nursery fabric that I'm off and running with. I chose this one for three reasons 1) it's got the red, orange and aqua that I want to use as accent colors 2) it looks great next to the white crib and 3) the pattern is pretty subtle. I didn't want a big, bold pattern because the only thing I want screaming at me in this room is Blinky. And even then, I pray for an un-colicy baby.

Next to the fabric are vinyl wall decals. I can't go etsy without taking a quick peek at what people are doing with them. I know a lot of people hate them but I don't really understand why. A piece of temporary cuteness? What's not to like? Well, this is my first foray into the vinyl decal world and I chose little birdies, thus a room theme was born! Can you believe it? It's Three Little Birds...from the Bob Marley song because really, are any lyrics more appropriate for a nursery?

Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', This is my message to you-ou-ou

ETA: I'm selling 3 Little Birds Nursery Accessories here!

I've Got No More Excuses

for bad pictures. As somewhat of a little early 30th birthday present to me, I finally got my first DSLR, a Nikon D5000. And just as I hoped, it takes better pictures automatically than my P&S did with editing. I love it. And who knows, someday I might actually learn how to use it.

The Baby Files - Weeks 15, 16 & 17

hey kids, still growing a baby over here. The whole "second trimester is the best you'll feel" thinking seems to be right-on. I can't complain. Waittttt a minute, of course I can complain. It's kinda what I do best. I'll complain about maternity clothes. They are so boring. It's as if they stopped manufacturing them somewhere in the early 90's with the empire waists and flower-y patterns. Of course, my saviors Old Navy and Target come through for me with updated duds, but the selection is limited and they're often a little too plain too. And the $10 upcharge a lot of stores seem to put on a shirt labeled maternity. Done with it.

In other Blinky-related events, I'm done and registered. I wanted to get it done while I still had enough energy to wander the aisles of Babies R Us. Tiny hats seem to be my weakness. They're just so tiny! Oh and did you know that they have strips that you dip into your breast milk to test for alcohol??? Genius. I'll take a case.

My awesome Mom also went and bought our crib and mattress for us and they've been delivered. It's starting to sink in that this is really happening. That crib is someone's bed! And that someone will be here in like 5 months. Craziness. Oh and for the curious kitties out there, it sure is a Jenny Lind. Yay!

And since posts without pics are boring, I'm gonna do this. I'll put it out there that I think "belly shots" are weird. Naked belly shots I mean. Maybe someday I'll think that they're "beautiful" or whatevs, but until then, I kinda think it's weird to be showing the whole world your naked tum. And those maternity shots of naked bells? Don't even get me started! I apologize if you just got your naked bell proofs in from your photog and I'm sure they're great. I just won't be doing them. Anybody with me on this or do I just look like the bitter pregnant chick with a pre-existing gut? Ahhh, anyway. I'm sure someday I'll regret not having some proof that my body contorted this way, so here it is...pre-existing gut and all. And non-preggos, we have to put our hand on our bellies so that you can seperate your rack from your belly. Otherwise, you're just round all over. And who wants that?

pa-pow!

And Desserts the Size of Your Head!

After our little fabric jaunt the other day, we were famished. Being a spaz in a small store takes a lot out of a girl. Anywho, we stopped at the Fourth Street Deli...4th and Bainbridge if you're a local. None of us had ever been but we were starving and if there’s one thing a Jewish deli is good for, it’s stuffing your face. We walked in and I literally gasped. Their dessert case was like no other. Everything in it was comically oversized. I’m sorry but a regular sized brownie is one thing, but one the size of a hubcap is a whole ‘nother story. You can’t NOT order it. In fact, we ordered dessert just to see what the portion size would be. Then we had a few bites and packed it up to go. And go. And go. Yup, I think it took us the better part of a week to finish our desserts. Check these bad boys out.

Served warm and gooey and brick-like.

Yep, an eclair the size of a human arm.

Over half a foot tall. At least. Godzilla size carrot cake.

Off to make a appt with Hot Jesus look-alike dentist. My teeth are rotting as we speak.

Free Stuff!

Just doing my bloggly duty of spreading the word (and yeah, increasing my chances of winning) bout some giveaways out there...

Camila from High Heeled Foot in the Door is giving away paint. A lot of it. Go!

and Jackie from Sweetie Pie Pumpkin Noodle is doing giveaways all week. Awesome ones. Go!

Spool

I'm just gonna put this out there. Jo-Ann's fabric selection can suck it. I don't know if it's because once I get a project idea in my head, that nothing lives up to it or the fact that their selection just stinks. I'll go with both. Yeah, they have a handful of nice prints but that selection is extremely small. And I have a hard time ordering fabric online because I want to rub my grubby hands all over it in person. All of the above leaves me in a quandary.

Until!!! I found out about Spool . Spool is an adorable little fabric store located in downtown Philly. I wanted to go! But it required a buddy for me to go with. Mostly because I hate parking downtown. Especially a few days after a snowstorm. Sarah & Adrienne to the rescue!

They had rows and rows of bright, fun, modern fabric that just made me happy. I found some fabric to make a tablerunner PLUS fabric to make a crib skirt. Yes, the girl who can't sew is going to make a crib skirt. And you'll be her witness. Don't worry, I'm a Stitch Witchery wiz.

The girls at Spool were just as adorable as their store. The owner looked up my crib to get measurements (because I come prepared like that) and they sat through stories of Sarah sewing her own cat/baby sling.

Overall, I like Spool. And I'd also like to learn how to sew. Not just fake it.

Oh and can you believe I didn't show you the fabric I bought for the nursery??? Shame on me. Don't fret, I've got a little sneaky pete peak coming up in the next few days for ya.